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David S. Clark - The Message From Patmos: A Postmillennial Commentary on the Book of Revelation (1921) "This early twentieth-century Postmillennial commentary on the Book of Revelation, written by the father of theologian Gordon Clark, offers an easy-to-read alternative to the popular Pre-millennial/Dispensational views of the best-selling Scofield Reference Bible and a multitude of other dissertations on end-time prophecy that litter the shelves of Christian bookstores. "

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You Might Be A Hyper-Preterist

By Paul Manata



I now bring you: you might be a hyper-preterist.

1. When you hurt your back playing golf and your buddies look at you and say, "you got a bum glorified body, didn't you?," you might be a hyper-preterist.

2. If after lusting after a Playboy Playmate you go and teach that we were definitively sanctified in 70 AD, you might be a hyper-preterist.

3. If you say you take the time texts seriously but you don't hold that 1 John was written at 11:00 p.m. on 69 AD since it says, "we know it is the last hour" (1 John 2:18), you might be a hyper-preterist.

4. If you say that people weren't regenerate until 70 AD but it was already not yet, and then you read passages which speak of the saints loving God and his law (which the unregenerate cannot do), you might be a hyper-preterist.

5. If you think 70 AD was the most important event in history, rather than the cross, you might be a hyper-preterist.

6. If you have Gnostic tendencies, you might be a hyper-preterist.

7. If you've never read Calvin, Hodge, Warfield, Edwards, Turretin, Witsius, Owen, Murray, Van Til, Vos, et al, you might be a hyper-preterist.

8. If you've read them, and the every other Christian position on the resurrection and the second advent, and you say they're all wrong and you're all correct, you might be a hyper-preterist.

9. If you think you're reformed and hold that God has elected a certain number of people to everlasting life, but yet you think the earth will last forever with people entering into the city, for eternity, you might be a hyper-preterist.

10. If you have a blank look on your face, with glassy eyes, you might be a hyper-preterist.

11. If your family members need to hire people to "get you out," you might be a hyper-preterist.

12. If your position leads to the position that Jesus needed regeneration since he was resurrected, you might be a hyper-preterist.

13. If you get kicked out of every church you go to, you might be a hyper-preterist.

14. If your creed is that you have no creed, you might be a hyper-preterist.

15. If you say that "the end of ALL things is at hand" (1 Peter 4:7) means ALL things, but the fulfillment of EVERY vision without delay (Ez. 12:21-28) does not mean EVERY vision, you might be a hyper-preterist.

16. If your teaching is gangrenous, you might be a hyper-preterist.

17. If you still take the lord's supper even though one reason it was to be taken was in order to "proclaim His death until He comes," you might be a hyper-preterist.

18. If you constantly bombard people with e-mails, you might be a hyper-preterist.

19. If your previous theological bents have been other heretical positions (i.e., the Church of Christ's), you might be a hyper-preterist.

20. If you make yourself feel better by saying, at one time people thought the reformers were heretics, you might be a hyper-preterist.

21. If your two favorite sayings are: (1)Reformed and always reforming and (2) sola scriptura, even though you misrepresent what those mean, you might be a hyper-preterist.

22. If you live in Florida, you might be a hyper-preterist.

23. If you're a fan of "New Covenant Theology," you might be a hyper-preterist.

24. If you think Jesus will kick it with Enoch and Elijah for eternity while the rest of us will float around as disembodied spirits after we phsyically die, you might be a hyper-preterist.

25. If you think that we'll still sin after we die since definitive sanctification has already occurred, you might be a hyper-preterist.

26. If you think that God will live in eternity with active sinners, forever, you might be a hyper-preterist.

27. If you have no education, you might be a hyper-preterist.

28. If you only focus on eschatology, you might be a hyper-preterist.

29. If you can't get off the milk and chew some meat, you might be a hyper-preterist.

30. If you deny Christ's full work of redemption (e.g., the phsyical He made good also needs redemption), you might be a hyper-preterist.

31. If you think that Don Preston "is the man" because he rambles off basic two-premiss syllogisms, you might be a hyper-preterist.

32. If this is the new heavens and earth and you have your glorified body, and upon realizing this if you're not depressed and feeling cheated, you might be a hyper-preterist.

33. If you've had to define what a Christian is and this definition lets just about any wacko into the camp, you might be a hyper-preterist.

What do YOU think ?

Submit Your Comments For Posting Here
Comment Box Disabled For Security

Date: 15 Sep 2005
Time: 06:11:07


This is the derelict that was put in his place by H.L. James on the on-line debate at: Go to the articles section and read the debate.

He also tried to push his crap at Sam Frosts site, but again couldn't take the heat.

He's got alot of nerve badmouthing Don Preston, but again his true colors are shining through. It is evident that he is miserable in his legalistic faith and has to feel like he's doing something in order to please and stay right with God. If you really have some balls, why don't you ask Don himself for a face to face debate: I'm sure he'd oblige. Otherwise, shut your pie-hole and stop the bad-mouthing. Vinster

Date: 20 May 2006
Time: 11:33:47


I like how people come up with venom and spit at everything that denies them the franchise on doctrine.
Let him answer , why are not the signs and wonders as prevailent as it was in the apostles days..if we are STILL in that "day"

Date: 15 Jun 2006
Time: 15:45:33


This name calling between the "hyper" preterists and the "historic" preterists is grevious and must stop.(like between Dee dee and Sam Frost) calling someone a heritic even though they share many similar beleifs is wrong, it hurts the heart of God ,it disgraces all of us before the world. Don't you think the early church had many such disagreements, yet it didn't effect their love for one another. None of you are worthy to even tie the shoes of the first century church! Stop the hate!!!

Date: 14 Apr 2007
Time: 10:06:33


I agree None of you are worthy to even tie the shoes of the first century church! Stop the hate!!! preterist

Date: 23 Apr 2009
Time: 23:36:41

Your Comments:

If your conscience is pierced and you feel guilty every time you read, "There are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of man coming in His kingdom," you might be a futurist. ;)

TD: Matthew 16:27-28 is most certainly not about AD70, so i call fail on this one. 

Date: 30 Apr 2009
Time: 01:23:19

Your Comments:

Point number 6 points to "Gnostic tendencies."

The Nag Hammadi Library does present many comments from Jesus on the subject of fulfillment.

For example:

His disciples said to him, "When will the kingdom come?" Jesus said, "It will not come by waiting for it. It will not be a matter of saying 'here it is' or 'there it is.' Rather, the kingdom of the father is spread out upon the earth, and men do not see it." (The Gospel of Thomas 113)

His disciples said to him, "When will the repose of the dead come about, and when will the new world come?" He said to them, "What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it." (Thomas 51)

To better understand what is being said, a thorough reading of this gospel is worthwhile. The early Gnostic Christians did seem to like gospel, and this perspective. I suspect many modern Christians would enjoy it as well.

Dean Johnson

Date: 19 Jan 2010
Time: 09:30:59

Your Comments:

LOL....this is great!!!! we should defens sound doctrine like this some more lol....


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